I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
4 words: hood of his car
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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