its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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