I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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