Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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