One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
