Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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