i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
