apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
