how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
