She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
