Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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