Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
