My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
