just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
