Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
