would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
