i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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