I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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