Small penises have feelings too.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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