yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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