someone threw a dead crab at me
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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