she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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