i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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