so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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