Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
