She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
sarcasm needs its own font
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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