I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
