they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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