I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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