Whod you bang
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
