I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
