4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
