You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
