how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
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