i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
