Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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