I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize
