Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
