he puts the penis in happiness.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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