i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
