Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
