New invention idea: vibrating tampons
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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