Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
