I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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