I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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