Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Randomize
