We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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