I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
