just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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