That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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