So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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