i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
